When my fiancé and I first found out we were having twins, my first thought was that I’m never sleeping again. Now they’re over a year old, I can confirm I have, in fact, slept again. And now sleeping through the night (bliss!).
Even though my fear of a baby always being awake didn’t quite come true, there is no denying that the first year with my twins has been the most challenging year of my life.
The things on this list were the difference between me just surviving my first year as a Mum of twins and actually having some moments to thrive.
In no particular order, here are six things that made that difference.
Living near a park
I have clocked up some serious hours and kilometres going around my nearest park since my twins were born. Almost every afternoon nap happened there. And I’m still walking between five and seven kilometres a couple of times a week.
I would be walking along and was physically notice myself start to relax. The park and walking was how I could release all of the stress that was accumulating every day. The fresh air was my reset.
The days a baby cried the whole time and I got home as stressed as when I left, I felt cheated. But on the days when both girls slept and I got a break, these walks in the park were my lifeline.
My mum coming almost every week
Of everything on this list, this one is probably the biggest privilege. Not everyone’s Mum lives near enough to visit weekly. Not everyone wants to see their Mum that often. Not everyone’s Mum can. I’m so incredibly grateful that mine could.
Knowing that the piling up clean washing would get folded and put away was a sigh of relief. I definitely had moments where I felt pressure to clean something and would remember Mum was coming tomorrow, it will get taken care of. I was free to focus on my girls. Or nap. Or even read a book and have five minutes to myself.
Working with a postpartum nutrition consultant
When the twins were about eight months old, I was really struggling with feeling depleted. I’d have grand plans to accomplish during nap time only for it to arrive and find myself plonked on the couch. It would have been so easy to dismiss that as the result of exclusively breastfeeding twins and getting up multiple times a night.
Kelly, a certified nutrition consultant, came onto my radar through a Mum’s group I’m part of. In one session with her, she established I was under eating and not getting enough protein. A few diet tweaks and some better supplements made a huge difference to my energy levels and ability to be patient when the girls are having a hard time. Fuelling myself properly has become a priority.
Getting in home postpartum support
I talked about how my Mum came most weeks. When she took off to Canada for a long dreamed of golf trip, I booked in Dewdrops, an in home postpartum support service to fill the gap. Having someone come in who is both a paid professional and is used to supporting parents was a completely different and completely magical experience.
My water bottle was filled up without asking (breastfeeding mums know!). Desperately needed dusting noticed on a previous visit was done first thing on the next. Aside from a brief house tour explaining what I wanted down and where to find things, it all just happened with minimal input from me. Did I find the twin’s towels in the wrong cupboard? Sure. Did I care? Not a bit. Not being bombarded with questions was bliss!
READ MORE: What no one tells you about having twins: the advantages edition
A friend that dropped in with coffee (and bought me flowers to celebrate the girls starting preschool)
When I became a Mum, I realised that I’d had no idea how to support friends that had become parents. My friends that were already parents, really SHOWED UP. They understood.
Dropping off coffee and a pastry. Bringing around fish and chips and hanging out during night time routines. Giving a baby a bottle. Buying me flowers to celebrate the girls starting preschool and me going back to work. All of those small moments that made me feel supported and like my friends still remembered me even when I was struggling to remember myself. Those gestures kept me going.
Having a routine from seven weeks old
When the previously mentioned in home postpartum support showed up at 10am she was amazed to find me showered, fed and making coffee. The twins being in a routine meant I could be in a routine. For months, their morning nap was my chance to get myself ready for the day. Being showered, sometimes even putting on makeup, kept me feeling human.
Before having my twins, I was very sure I didn’t want to be beholden to a strict schedule. And I’m not. But having a routine, especially around sleep has really saved my sanity.
I didn’t plan ahead to survive the first year with twins
I’m so grateful for everything on this list making my first year as a mum a little bit easier. As I said, these things helped me to find moments where I got out of survival mode.
Looking back, I didn’t consciously plan any of this. I was exhausted for most of my pregnancy so I didn’t have energy to spare to think about life once the twins were here.
And what’s tough about planning for postpartum as a first time is I had NO IDEA what I was in for. How do I plan for something I don’t know?
My fiancé and I have a belief that we can figure it out. So we did.
When I learnt about a resource like postpartum support, I used it. When something wasn’t working for me like feeling depleted, I changed it.
And bit by bit, that all got me through my first year as a Mum to twins.
If you’ve also survived your first year with twins, what would you add to this list? Share it below!