The standard questions to ask on a preschool tour
When we started looking for a preschool (or nursery or daycare or whatever you call it), we were lucky enough to know someone who worked in early childhood education. She sent me a big list of questions to ask on our visits.
It covered things like:
- The ratio of children to teachers
- The maximum number of children in the space
- Does the preschool do primary care (one teacher is the kid’s go to person)
- How do updates and comms work (our preschool has an app which is quite cool)
- What we need to bring and what is supplied (our preschool is catered so food is one less thing we need to worry about)
However now the twins are settled into preschool, there are definitely some things I missed. Here are the questions I wished I’d asked.
Questions I wish I’d asked before starting preschool
How do meal times work?
When we were being shown around the preschool we were told that they will do whatever we do at home. What I didn’t realise is she was only referring to naptimes. Mealtimes (mostly) happen on a fixed schedule, which makes a lot of sense! (Imagine 16 different meal times?!).
So I assumed that the preschool was going to replicate what we did at home and got a bit of a shock when the intake form about food was only about what kind of foods our twins were eating (purees, cooked food, raw food, that kind of thing).
This hasn’t ended up being a big drama to settling into preschool but it did throw me off. I am such a process person and can really struggle when things don’t work.
Starting preschool is such a big transition for me as a Mum, letting someone else take care of my precious babies and something seemingly small like this ends up feeling like a bigger deal.
This miscommunication (and what I’m about to share next) has me worried that the preschool was disorganised. That it wasn’t somewhere I could trust leaving my twins.
Asking more detailed questions, like understanding meal times better, would have helped me feel more comfortable.
What schedule do you recommend for settling visits?
If you don’t know, a settling visit is a shorter visit where Mum and/or Dad stick around so your babies can get comfortable with the new environment and new people while having the safety of their favourite human/s.
Our first settling visit was scheduled to start right before morning nap time.
I naively thought the administrator who booked us in would ask about our nap schedule and work around that. When she didn’t ask, I took a ‘they’re the experts’ approach and assumed it would be fine.
It was not fine.
The teacher we were buddied with asked if I wanted to settle my twins for this first nap or did I want her to do it. I said let’s rip the bandaid off, she can settle them. More ‘they’re the experts’ thinking.
(Also my girls are great sleepers and we’ve never had issues with them sleeping in different environments, advantage of having twins and always being together).
That was my second mistake.
My girls ended up upset to a degree I had not seen in a long time. I was holding back tears.
I left that first visit feeling very unsupported, like the preschool staff were looking to me for guidance and I’m staring back at them expecting them to know the best way to settle children in. After all, they do it all the time. This is my first go!
If I’d ask more questions about settling visits and what they see work well, I would have saved myself and my babies a lot of heartache.
READ MORE: What Helped Me Feel Ready For My Twins Starting Preschool
What starting preschool taught me about trusting the process
Looking back, I went into starting preschool fairly relaxed and trusting that it would all work out. Because of that attitude, I didn’t dig into details upfront which led to the frustrations, worries and road bumps I’ve talked about.
What I recognise now is that as the Mum (and as Dad if that’s your role) I need to lead the situation. That expecting that the teachers know best because they’re settling children into preschool all the time did me a disservice.
I could have said something about the first settling visit being scheduled at nap time. I take responsibility for that.
And what I also recognise is that I was desperate to be supported. For someone else to do the thinking for me. After struggling with feeling like I didn’t matter for most of my time as a mother, I craved someone recognising this was a big step for me. I needed to be guided too.
The good news is that even with these road bumps, preschool has been such a win for our family. After an honest conversation with the manager, we turned the settling in around. Now the twins are thriving. They come home brimming with grins and excitement. I’m watching them flourish and that’s what really matters.
If starting preschool is feeling bumpy and you’re struggling with feeling unsupported like I did, The Mum Lifeline is where you need to be. I would love to support you so preschool can be such a win for your family too.