I look at photos from when my twins were born and I cringe.
Instead of reminiscing about how tiny my babies were, I’m distracted by baggy t-shirts, stretched out leggings and outfits composed of anything that was clean and fitted.
None of it was cute.
I didn’t feel good in it at the time and I don’t feel good about it when I look at those photos.
I deeply regret not seeing my postpartum style as worth investing in. I wish I looked at those photos and celebrated the moment instead of fixating on what I was wearing.
And before you say don’t worry about it. No one else is seeing what you’re seeing. No one cares. Let me stop you.
I CARE! And as I remind my coaching mamas every day, if we care about it, it matters.
Feeling good as a Mum is what sets you up to be the Mum you want to be.
Why Outfits Matter More Than We Admit
Something that makes me feel good is the outfit I’m wearing.
I’m the kind of girl that messages friends before events planning outfits. Deciding what we’re going to wear is part of the fun for us.
I’m the kind of girl that when I love what I’m wearing, I feel like I can conquer the world. And raising twins, I need to be bringing that energy.
So if my outfit is so important to me, why was my early postpartum style made up whatever fit?
Why didn’t I invest in some cute pregnancy and postpartum outfits, knowing that it would emotionally support me as I became a Mum?
Because I was starting parental leave and a reduced income and thought it was frivolous to spend money that way.
Because I told myself I would lose weight and so it would be a waste of money.
Because I was breastfeeding and didn’t want to build a postpartum wardrobe around accommodating that and knowing that my body would change again when I stopped.
And when I’m sitting on the couch all day getting through another round of feeds and burps and nappy changes and naps, does it really matter what I’m wearing?
In telling myself that I wasn’t worth spending money on, I was telling myself I didn’t matter. My needs weren’t important. BEFORE my twins arrived and took from me everything I had to give them, I was already diminishing my own needs as unimportant.
The Question That Changed Everything
Here’s the question that changed everything:
What would I wear if I had $500,000 in the bank?
I would buy new clothes that fit and I felt good in.
There it was. What I truly wanted. To feel good in my clothes.
To like what I saw in photos and in the mirror. To start my day feeling pulled together.
The power of this question is it removed what was blocking my judgement (worries about money) and allowed me to admit what I wanted.
And once I looked that desire dead on, there was no avoiding it.
Now I knew what I wanted, it was time to get creative about how I could have the postpartum style I wanted.
Buying second hand was a way to buy my favourite brands and get the kind of clothes I like to wear without spending loads of money.
I also realised that I didn’t need a whole new wardrobe, I just needed a few new pieces to add into circulation so I could start playing with my style in this season of motherhood.
Some more creative ideas about leaning into your postpartum style:
- Browsing op shops could be your new outing when your baby
- Borrowing clothes from friends, your sisters, even your Mum
- Buying pieces you love with the intention of having them altered when your body changes
- Going over your budget to figure out an amount of money you can comfortably spend on clothes (now you’ve identified this is important to you, you’ll look at your spending differently and likely be willing to forgo something else to make the clothes possible)
How this applies to your postpartum style
Think about why you feel like you can’t have great postpartum style and adjust the question to fit.
What would I wear if I had an hour to get ready in the morning?
What would I wear if I was the size I dream of?
What would I wear if I wasn’t worried about the kids spitting up on it?
What would I wear if I wasn’t breastfeeding?
What would I wear if I was leaving the house for more than a walk around the block?
Asking the question isn’t going to magically give you those conditions. What it gives you is the outcome you want.
Now you know what you’re aiming for, you can work backwards from that.
Since I asked myself what would I wear, I’ve realised I am worthy of wearing outfits that make me feel like myself. That it’s a great use of money to buy clothes that not only fit but also feel good to wear.
Months on I’ve added a mix of secondhand and new clothes to my wardrobe and started to figure out my postpartum style. Comment below if you want me to share my postpartum outfit formula!
Discovering your postpartum style (and working through all of the reasons you think you can’t) is the exact kind of conversation I’m having with Mummas in the Mum Helpline. Book your spot today.